In this contribution to a humorous strand we’ve been seeking for years, Dick Clarke shares a slightly redacted response to a DA submission on the shite developments under way in his hood.
There has been an acceleration of rebuilding on Sydney’s once leafy “Upper North Shore”. The fact that convention dictates the capitalisation of an area’s name though it is not listed as such by the Geographical Names Board [the editor also objects] is emblematic of its perceived importance. Self-perceived perhaps.
But my interest is not in its nomenclature, but its architecture. Dragged there by my parents at the age of eight from our bucolic riverside happiness in west Dubbo, I found myself amongst tall trees and market gardens, with a Hawkesbury catchment creek and waterhole at the bottom of my street. Not a bad swap really.
But that was the “North Shore” of a long gone yesteryear. Now it is favoured by people unaware of its once-dominant nature, though far be it from me to say they are uncaring – that remains to be seen. What is obvious in the current crop of residential buildings is a dominant size and style which on the face of it seems to thumb its nose at both nature and humility. But who am I to judge such things?
Trawling through Ku-ring-gai Council’s DA files, I found the following submission against a particular development in Turramurra. For the sake of denying a libel lawyer further income, the site and submitter are not identified. But suffice to say that this submitter had a pretty strong view on the architectural merit of the subject DA proposal. I’ll let you, dear reader of impeccable taste, decide which side of the white picket fence, or perhaps more appropriately, the rendered brick edi-fence, you sit on.
Ku–ring–gai Council DA submission by [redacted]
Dear [xxxx],
I realise the notification period for DA [xxxx] closed earlier this week, but I just had to share my thoughts about this DA with you.
I may be a character of ill repute according to many, a hero to others, who knows, and frankly who cares. But what I do care about is what is happening to the once leafy bushy and very Australian North Shore. OK, so I may live a little further north of Turramurra, but that does not make my assessment any the less valid. So here goes with a nine point critique. I may have repeated myself on a few points, but only for emphasis…
1. Looks like shite. No, seriously. These buildings look like mausoleums or war memorials. [xxxx] are supposedly big name top notch architects. My pet seagull Albert could have done a better job.
2. Possible threat to root zone of angophora T1 – tree protection plan does not cover 90 per cent of its root zone.
3. Looks like shite.
4. NatHERS Certificate (BASIX) has 5.2 and 5.3 star equivalent, BASIX is supposedly requiring a 6 star equivalent as basic compliance, so what the [xxxx]? Has the certificate been gamed? It happens.
- windows are aluminium framed single glazed
- large skylight is single glazed
- that is like putting drum brakes without ABS on a BMW. Just immoral
5. Looks like shite. Still can’t get over this.
6. Landscape plan includes a lot of exotic plants unsuited to Ku-ring-gai’s bush heritage and especially to the adjacent riparian zone, some of which are known as escapees. Whatever happened to Ku-ring-gai’s landscape philosophy? Have their landscape people ever heard of George Seddon? Or Trevor King? Or Diana Snape? Or even Edna Walling for heaven’s sake?!
7. Looks like shite – this is not a trivial concern. Being as kind as I can be, the proposed buildings are of very low architectural quality. They do not contribute to the cultural heritage of Turramurra, looking like a poor attempt to be at home in Tuscany 300 years ago. Or are they emulating a mausoleum? They do not relate to Australia’s or Sydney’s architectural heritage.
They do not relate to the natural heritage, containing zero biophilic design elements, and zero response to climate, with completely inadequate shading control etc. We know better than this now, but this proposal is buried in wilful ignorance.
“Localness” is a design approach that seeks out the unique features of each locality and incorporates appropriate responses into the design – did I mention Trevor King? Little known beyond the far south coast perhaps. This proposal does the exact opposite, attempting to redefine the locality according to an inappropriate external design sense, that is also chronologically divorced from reality. A kind of cognitive dissonance.
8. The “houses”(if that’s what they are, rather than mausolea) will have very high environmental impact. How do they fit with Ku-ring-gai Council’s stated ecological goals? How they achieved even a 5 star NatHERS equivalent is questionable, never mind 7 star. There is no proposal for rooftop solar, which might otherwise mitigate some of the high energy demand these buildings will create. So they don’t even align with ScoMo’s old “technology will save us” narrative.
9. Given their immediate proximity to the creek and its riparian zone, and is partially flood affected, a more urban-sensitive stormwater design should be required. The porous paving on the driveway must be specified in detail, as this is often poorly executed or substituted later for paving that is effectively non-porous. 10 Kilolitre rainwater tanks are inadequate given the budget and value of the project.
9. Still look like shite. [The architect] would tell you that as architects they have a monopoly on good design. Shite like this shouts that this supposition is boolzheet, it is more suppository than position.
Breathe…
This is just one of many sub-standard DAs and CDCs [complying development certificates] in Ku-ring-gai, and the applicant may feel scapegoated when there are many others as bad, maybe worse. Sorry fellas, it’s just one I happened upon. Lift your game. Yet all may be tarred with the same brush.
Thanks for your time, Albert is calling for his dinner. Life is not easy without eyebrows, ask any bird.
George of Patonga
SV Getcha Girroff
Somewhere on the Hawkesbury River NSW
If you have some humorous, satiric or plain sardonic thoughts on sustainability and good/bad taste looking to escape containment lines, we’re your freedom! Send along to editorial@thefifthestate.com.au
I cannot agree more with this assessment of the upper north shore and the amount of ‘mausoleums’ appearing. And uninspiring project homes but that’s another story. Money doesn’t buy taste or good sense unfortunately.