Okay folks, heave ho, here we go. Lift now. It’s heavy. It’s a huge and lazy beast now that it’s put on all that weight and throwing itself around the global school yard, making a big noise that it’s “not going to play no more”.

If the biggest bully on the block won’t chip in and pull the chain, then we either do it all ourselves or fight the bully harder than we’ve fought in our history.

Now bear with us a bit while we act, you poor grieving 73 per cent of eligible US voters who did not vote these loonies in; understand we are very angry – we did not expect the “leader of the free world” to take us through the gates of hell.

We’re not talking about trade, and we’re not talking about treaties and military alliances, and we certainly don’t want to be patronising about whatever internal politics rocks your boat, but, US,  if your new leaders pull out all the stops to risk the safety of this planet then we must do what ever we can to protect ourselves.

This is no time for prevarication or squirming out of our commitment at COP 22 (yes, you Mr Turnbull and pathetically siding with the enemy, because that’s what that is). Right now, USA, you  produce 16 per cent of the world’s greenhouse gas emissions.

Can someone please work out the amount of extra emissions you will create if you rip out your forests, dig up all your tar sands and put the torch to all the coal you can dig up?

Because whatever that number is, we should fix it that firmly in our minds when we work out what’s next. This is the War of Independence all over again. Except in reverse. It’s the World War against the assassins who want to murder our babies and rape our Mother Earth. Because no matter how many walls you build, Mr 27 per cent, you can’t build them high enough to keep the atmosphere to yourself.

We are all in this together. We share the air and the earth and the seas.

“Looking out from the space station, I didn’t see an economy, I saw an iridescent biosphere teeming with life.”

And there are many of us. This will not be the rest of the world gone to jelly because the wrong Americans roared.

So we turn to our friends all around us, and those living with the enemy.

We take heart from the unprecedented and courageous stand taken by businesses and leaders across the globe. And from Twitter and Google and Facebook to stop fake news and delete the accounts of hatred from the alt right. Next they must do the same for climate haters and liars.

Some in the polite world are still watching and holding back. But they won’t for long. The French contenders to the next election have already said they will slap a carbon tax on any American imports if the Americans withdraw from the Paris agreement.

The Chinese might be delighted to do the same. Just watch.

You just handed leadership and respect on the most important challenge in the universe to the Chinese.

Happy now?

Let’s be clear now. If your evil empire enacts the environmental changes you are threatening then it’s beholden on the entire rest of the world to defend itself. And we will, any way we can, honey, anyway we can.

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